Reflections

I have some time to kill and it’s been awhile since I blogged. What a better excuse to right?

Currently I’m sitting in my dorm room at Colorado State University. No, I didn’t enroll suddenly. This next year I’m cosponsoring the student council at school. This week there is a “Boot Camp” for future leaders and their sponsors. I started out the morning all over the place. I couldn’t find where I needed to go then I couldn’t find my students, my name tag, or my room. It was a zoo. I kept texting the other sponsor asking her what she got me into. When I was finally able to settle in a little more with the other sponsors I found myself relaxing and really learning. I’ve already happily taken a page of notes and I’ve only been to 2 sessions - lots of good things for the upcoming school year! Tonight I have to look forward to this wonderful room I’m in with a two separate twin beds, a bathroom the size of a closet, totally bare, and I think even smaller than my dorm room. My worry is that I may roll off the bed at one point. I sure will miss Dan though. I’ve gotten used to having him there every night.

Married life has been great. We’ve been married exactly a month today. I finally picked my pictures from the wedding we want our photographer to print. I’m so anxious to get them. I need to get thank you cards out – I promise they will be sent out before my birthday, we just had a little glitch with them. Most of my stuff has been changed over to my new name, although I still have to get used to that. I had to go to the doctor’s office the other day (no I’m not pregnant for anyone who got that idea)and when asked my name I said my maiden name – which is fine because my insurance card is still in that name, but I stumbled. I’m getting it though! The students that are with me keep trying and forgetting my married name. One said “I don’t care! It’s not going to happen.” Ha ha! But my papers all came in so legally its changed. Last things I need to change are my credit and bank cards. Everything else is just about done. Although I’m sure there will be little ones here and there. It all went really easy.

To be honest though, I think part of me put off blogging for a little while. Obviously, living in Colorado, there’s a lot of thoughts going round about Aurora and I think I was almost scared to blog. I do want to touch a little about it. That horrific night I was having a hard time sleeping. Dan had taken his little brother and his friend to the Batman marathon which concluded with the premier. I rolled over thinking too much to see a Facebook post about a shooting at the premier. I don’t know if I was not in the right mind set, but I didn’t see where at first. I was sick. I sprang up and searched where it was. I got out of bed a little before 3 after reading all that I could about it. The news was on and already at the movie theatre. I texted my friends I new were at the show, but at a different theatre insisting they text me when they were home. I then text a friend I knew lived in Aurora. “…Please tell me you didn’t go see dark knight in Aurora. Tell me you’re okay!” was the message I sent him. I was sick. I passed the floor watching the news and looking out the window for Dan. I knew he and the boys were fine, but I just needed to see them. When they walked through the door they were all a little stunned to see me awake and I was very happy to see them. Their faces fell when they saw the news on the TV. The whole thing was just heart breaking and stunning. Somehow we managed to turn off the TV and go to bed for a bit. My friend texted me back about 5am saying he had to work at 6 and was fine – thank God! My friend in Canada texted me shortly after to see if I was okay – I couldn’t believe it became international news that quickly. This act of evil is horrific and frightening. My thoughts and prayers go out to each person affect by this. Around Colorado and where I grew up (about 15 minutes from Columbine) anything like this seems to open up old wounds. It hurts to see friends struggle with this. As soon as something like this happens, the Columbine shootings are brought up. It’s hard to think about. Life is so precious. I’ve had to turn off the news and force myself to not click on news reports – it is all too sad.

As Dan’s Mom said, I was relieved he was okay, but then I almost felt guilty. Someone lost a husband, a son, a daughter, a friend and here I am feeling thankful that everyone I know is okay. Above all, hug your loved ones, be thankful they are with you, and remember those lost.